How to Deal with Narcissistic and Difficult People

Jesus is the example for all Christians. He handled all his relationships successfully with great wisdom even when dealing with people who opposed him and challenged him like the Sadducees or even when dealing with disciples like Judas Iscariot and Peter who betrayed him.  Why do you think Jesus was so successful even when dealing with challenging relationships?

John 2:24-25 – New King James Version -24 But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men, 25 and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man.
John 10:30 – New International Version – 30 I and the Father are one.”
Narcissism is extreme self-involvement to the degree that it makes a person ignore the needs of those around them.

Note – Why is it important to know that these type of people exist –simply — we need to know how to deal with them–God is concerned about all areas of our lives —

Note – The bible is full of instructions on how to deal with challenging personalities

Proverbs 22:24-25 ESV / Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
Titus 3:10 ESV / As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him,
Proverbs 9:7-9 ESV / Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.

One scenario in the bible where you see someone deal with a challenging relationship with someone in authority — was David and King Saul
∎  The primary reason David was loyal to Saul was the anointing King Saul had received from the Lord. In other words, the Lord was the One who chose Saul to be king, and David refused to go against God’s will.
∎ “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord” (1 Samuel 24:6).
∎ Remember authority is not just about the “person” — authority has to so with a person who holds an “office” — Remembering this will help us greatly. Keep in mind that God never disregards positions of authority —-

3b. What guidance would you give someone you are coaching who may have to deal with a narcissist who may be a younger sibling or a friend
∎ Stand your ground – remember no healthy relationship should have you compromising your values or your principle
∎ Be clear in communicating the boundaries
∎ Avoid going back and forth – remember you are not negotiating your boundaries — this is not negotiable
∎ If needed based on how challenging it gets limit your interactions with this person

4. One of the challenges with difficult people is often times they are bitter and even miserable. There is the saying: Misery loves company. So how do you deal with difficult and miserable people and avoid losing your peace or joy and not get bitter or resentful when dealing with difficult personalities?

The best answers are found in God’s word. Here are some key bible verses to remember when dealing with difficult people:

John 14:27 – King James Version – 27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Finally – Remember – Depend on God – Romans 12:17-19 – English Standard Version

17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge ourselves, but leave it[a] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

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